Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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