i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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