I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize