i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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