Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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