grandma shit on top of the toilet
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
