I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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