is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize