I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
