Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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