His pubic hair was longer than his dick
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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