Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
