yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
No subtext here. People are naked.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
