I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
