i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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