A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
