THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Can I color on your dick again?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize