Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
