Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
