I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
