It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
