walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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