Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
