I hate your face
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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