ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
