ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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