New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize