I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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