yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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