you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
