I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
