see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
