Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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