Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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