This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
