someone owes me an orgasm
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
