for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
