My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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