You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
