Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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