Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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