You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
