I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
