he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I need to sanitize my soul.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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