well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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