If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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