Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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