Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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