it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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