I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
