I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
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Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
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When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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