I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
