I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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