His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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