You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Terrible idea I love it
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
