You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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