apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
